Day 20 - NYC

Day 20: NYC (We will be counting backwards by the way until we get to zero, then we will count up. BC/AD style.)


Thoughts: 


Thinking about the girl that moved here kind of breaks my heart. She was in so much pain and trying  to run so fast from things that ended up plaguing her for almost all of the time that she was here.

I remember how the inside of my nose changed because of the sudden influx of pollution. It would get gross and crusty and just down right freaky. I remember lying in bed for a month, not even understanding what to do with myself or what I was feeling because I'd never been given complete jurisdiction over my time before. I remember hiding within others so as not to face what was plaguing me. All of these things in the confines of a new, endlessly loud, endlessly claustrophobic city in the middle of winter. It probably worked for me at that time, because I was terrified of being alone...and there is no place to be alone in this world.


I don't know when I lost my passion for everything...but it was pretty early on. Probably in the first four or five months. The intensity of the city just made me not care anymore and everything turned muted and gray. It made me ask what the point was and not care enough to find the answer to my own question. As my depression grew and morphed over the years and I started to see the gears that turned it I was terrified that I would never be free of it, and even if I was ready to be free the city wouldn't let me. I felt chained to my unhappiness and my unhappiness took the name New York.

Past that now, I can only look back with a bit of awe. It's all so different. I never thought I would be able to look at New York and not intrinsically blame it. I never even realized that New York had color.


Actions:

So today I was lucky enough to spend the day with the amazing Emma Fisher, my elusive med student friend who has been sadly cooped up with books and cadavers for the last couple of years. I marked two things off of my to do list (which I will post soon), the lovely La Palapa for brunch and The Museum of Sex.

 My kind of museum exhibit! 

The basement at the MoSex has an Aphrodisiac cafe. Too bad I wasn't there with a date... 

Then I rounded out the day with the faboo Brent Black, my youtube celebrity friend (another thing I love about New York, you say 'oh yeah my friend is a professional youtube celebrity' and people just nod and say 'oh cool' instead of 'umm what?') who took me on a mondo trip of foodstuffs. S'mac (yum), Crif dogs (yum yum) and then he kept going while I watched in awe of his bear like appetite.

I was lucky to spend the day with two such wonderful people.


Day 20 complete with a full belly and a bit of arousal.